Depression Sucks Almost As Much As Alzheimer's, Divorce, Cancer, and Trump

Having been doing some personal and professional reading on the subject matter of "Depression", and in about two dozen conversations I've had with dear friends, colleagues, family, and even openly with some of my newfound associations - I realized that a shit-ton of us suffer from the deep dark abyss of "a disease and disorder that causes the why can't I motivate and stop laying on the couch all week while saying to myself, "at least i'm not as bad as that looser on dr phil"...

In the last 36 months I went from the highest of highs on top a mountain top of happiness all the way to the depths of "holly fuck what just...  how, huh?  wait gimme a minute" step on up to your life just got douched with human waste...  But, I"m surviving, finally.

See, right after selling a company that me and my best super hero friends and I managed to epically turnaround despite all the odds (oh yea and the fact that none of us had ever turned a company around before - shit i didn't even know it was a professional discipline back 36 months ago), we sold it and all got a pretty nice winfall.  Six months after that I became aware (we actually - my family) that mom wasnt the same.  Nope! rapid onset ALZ.  Dad got cancer but is fine now, for now.  Trump got elected, but thats ok because I really don't care - regardless of who is president Colorado still has shitty potholes and seems to always be "under construction" and regardless of which partisan group has the gavel, my pay is what i make of it and it seems those who have an ability to survive despite market conditions or cycles or credit corrections, well survive...

Divorce is at the tail end of my perfect calamity of adversity, shit I hope.  I mean, my divorce, and the process, is at its tail end.  (note my wife of lucky number 13 years is awesome and I still love as dearest friend - so while this may not be the most uplifting Hallmark card post ever, there is the fact that people can divorce and still be great friends and raise kids together collaboratively openly (I hope, as this is all speculative at present...)

Its all a lot to deal with at one sitting, right?  I mean, I am surviving.  Not thriving quite yet, but I feel that state of mind and reality on the cusp of my tomorrow.  

I am an open recovering drunk and pretty much at one point or another "user of whatever" there for a good while.  I have almost 8 years without downing the Kettle Ones one after the other.  I found myself asking myself, as well as others asked me the same, "how did I/you not pick up the bottle throughout all of this?"  Frankly, I DO NOT KNOW.

What I do know, is this.  My mom who got ALZ, or my dad who got cancer and nearly bleed out while checking out from his and my mom's last trip to Hawaii, and all the people suffering from depression (myself included and I suggest if you have it and take meds get the GENOMIND genetic test for what meds work and don't) survived.  They had it worse than I.  Me, I can still pull myself up by the coat tails, so to speak.  I have today and tomorrow where I can work on being a better more present father to my two young boys.  I can, and I MUST, do so many things that so many other people are not currently presented with the ability to do.  Of to, at this time, see through the darkness that there is light at the end of the tunnel, and its not NJ...

Fight the darkness and the depression however the hell you can.  Tell people, even if just one, about your experience.  And, for those who know depression of the sort I described above, you know that face of utter feeling like there is nothing or no purpose before you...  Help those faces out when you see them, if you identify with them.

I am going to do exactly that today.  At least just for today.  That's what I'm going to do.  And, it started by writing this blabbering of a shitty "you make no sense" post.